my life-story of a slave
by twilightsub23
Summary: bella is a slave but now her master sold her not to just one but two masters- edward and jesper. one is dark, cruel and one is patient, caring. A/H Dark/Dominant/OOC please if you never read anything dark don't try this story
1. Chapter 1

I ran down the stairs as soon as I heard the words. My lungs were in my throat, tears were already flowing down my cheeks and I knew very well that my master hated begging, but there was no way I wouldn't beg this time. I would do whatever I could to change his mind. He was sitting on the couch in the center of the hall. I got to my knees and put my head on his shoe as soon as I reached him.

"Please master, please don't do this."

"It's already done, slave," he answered.

I broke down completely, sobbing, "Please master... I.. I beg you... PLEASE!"

"You know I hate begging, and I don't want to punish you before I send you to your new master's house," He said coldly. Then he pulled me up by my hair and snatched my collar, the only thing which shows I am his property.

"Take her, now," he said. Two men appeared on my sides, taking me up by my shoulder.

"W... What ... N... Now master?" my blood ran cold, there was no way to change his mind now. The men started dragging me towards the door.

"Please mm... Master, give me some time... Just... A week, a day," I asked again.

"They already paid me," was all he said before the front door closed.

The men threw me in the back of a car, and got in the front. I couldn't stop crying. I felt so stupid for thinking that he would keep me. The day he bought Sara, his new slave, he said to me "you are getting old slave." I'm just 27, it's not that old, but she's 19, how can I compete with that? But after that, I completed his every wish, command or need. But he still sold me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Firstly i don't own any thing every character is belong to stephenie meyer. story is only my imagination not related to is dark and contains almost everything so read it on your own risk **

Chapter one

Its been hours now I am still in car crying my eyes out its not just the hurt that my master sold me but also I am scared of what lies ahead. That is unknown. I don't know what my master would think of me. Is he going to be excited when I cry and beg him or think I am pathetic? How he is going to punish me. What would be new rules?...

I was in my deep thoughts when car stops suddenly. I can't see anything because the windows r tinted black. I greeted my teeth to compose my self and to stop my trembling but then door at my right side opened.

"Come out"

The men who dragged me from my old master's house is looking at me. he said again

"Come out now "

I don't know what happened to me I just stared at him. I couldn't move like every thing is freeze on this moment.

Of course it isn't

"WHAT'S WRONG" I don't know who said but this voice has a sharp edge in it like a master's voice- hard and strong

"she is not coming out sir"

_If I didn't get out now I am going to be in big trouble_ I forced my self to move. Before I move someone appear on door I am so sacred from the look on his face I scrambled back in car but he dragged me by my lag and pulled me out. He haul me up by hair and throw me inside front door. As soon as I hit floor he removed his belt.

SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE

"AAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh…"I screamed when his thick leather belt hit my thighs

"Two words 'come out' what's so hard for you to understand" he yelled

"I ….I …..I a..am sorry" I hold my hand out to stop the torrent but he just continue

SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE

I hold my knees to my chest to keep my thighs and breast out of blows but even on my back it hurts like hell

SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE

"ohhh…PLEASEEEEEEeee….."

"_please_ huhh may be next time you want remember my title when you talk to me"

SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE

Oh god he is my new master

"I… I am sorry master I really am pleaseeeeee…..master"

SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE SMAKE

For one moment I thought I am gonna die he is never gonna stop. There is no end to my tears and screams. Every part in my body hurts.

"STOP" that's not me I don't have any voice remain inside me

"Stop jesper stop you'll kill her" same voice said

At least my master stopped hitting me then I saw a man holding my master's hands behind him

"She deserves no less then that" my master said

"We should let carlisle decide that"

"She is MINE"

"You know only Carlisle gonna decide who is gonna take her"

"I am not letting her slip from my hand Edward" my master said.

He stared at me a long time then run upstairs leaving me alone with master edward. He advanced at me and I scrambled back as fast as i can i know he is gonno beat me too. But there is wall behind me now I can't go anywhere.

" please master please i am sorry I won't do it again pleassseeeee….. I beg your forgiveness"

He came to me and got on his knees

"please master I …I am sorry"

"relax … I am not gonna hurt you" he said

He hold his hands out

"come … you should cleanup ….you must be tired"

I hesitated looking at his hand

"come" he said again

I know I don't have much choice I hold my trembling hands out and put in his. He pulled me up. I couldn't feel me legs. He moved forward holding my hand but my knees gave out. Before I hit floor his right hand come around my waist to hold me up.

"I am sorry master" I said

"can you walk"

I nodded. His long fingers hold my chin and made me look up

"are you sure" he asked

"yes master" if I said no he is gonna make me crowl I know that

I moved my legs and a sharp pain shot through me

"aaaahhhhh"

He bend down and took me in his arms

" I am …"

Before I finish he said "no more sorry"

I bit my lip hard. He took me upstairs to a room. and he put me on bed

"Thank you master" I said

"Your welcome. Now you should rest. There is gonna be a meeting at five o clock get ready before that."

He pulled drawer on bed side table and took a pill out. He holds it to me

"It's a painkiller take it" he hands a water bottle to me

I took pill because I know it will help but also he had given order not choice

"thank you master"

"get ready before five ok ?"

"yes master" I said

He walk toward door, turn and said "rest" and then is gone

Whoever he is i want him to be always with me because he is so kind and gentle and also because he said he won't hurt me but still he has voice of a master which made you do things even you don't want to do them.

I don't know when my eyes dropped and I slept. I know I looked at watch a very long time wishing it would never show 5 o'clock. But what woke me up is a strong voice. Someone yelling on the top of his lungs to shut up. i know exactly where I am. It's not easy to forget the pain. My tear dried on my cheek. I opened my eyes wishing it won't be after five o'clock. Thank god I had full 50 minute.

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU" that man yelled again. I am fully awake now its not master jesper or master edward's voice its some one else

"I am not backing out carlisle" master Edward said

"jesper I will take someone else for you" man said

"I can't wait I am not gonna let him have his fun while I wait and what would I do till that time guarding or cooking I don't think so". Master jesper said

" I wont claim her till Carlisle find someone else for you" master Edward said

"then I will claim her and Carlisle will find that 'someone else' for _you_"

I know they are talking about me

"I wont permit that" master Edward said

"like I need your permission" master jesper said

"SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP you both will take her till I find someone else" man said

My lungs felt empty my heart beating so fast like it want to come out of my chest. Two masters. Only with my luck that can happen isn't it enough that my master sold me and throw me out of house without even a goodbye. Isn't it enough that I got beat-up like hell. Now two masters. two masters. two masters….

"I am ok with that" master jesper said

"Carlisle what are you saying" master Edward said

"it's the only peaceful way"

"she is so fragile carlisel she wont be able take it."  
"do you let jesper have her"

"NO" master Edward said in hard voice

"then its decided. When I find someone, you guys can decide who you want to be with"

"but carlisle she wont live long if we both are on her 24 hours please Carlisle think about it" master Edward said in pleading voice

"ok then one day for you one day for him. Now don't fight over it like Childs. Where is she ?"

"she is resting upstairs" master Edward said

I need to get ready now but _two masters. two masters. two masters_…. Its like a mantra continued playing on my mind. I cleanup my self with my trembling hands but I couldn't stop my tears. _two masters. two masters. two masters_….

When I came out from bathroom I can still hear them discussing down the hall

"jesper do what ever you want don't kill her, if you did I wont give you new one"

_Ohhhh that's comforting _

" Ok Carlisle"

"ok now I want to meet her" Carlisle said

"I'll take her" master Edward said

"No" master jesper said

"jeams get her here" Carlisle said

" sir am I allowed to use force if she don't want to come"

"NO" "call me" master Edward and jesper said at the same time (respectively )

"take her here. ...Whatever it takes" Carlisle said

...

**my english is weak so please tell me my spelling and tense mistake. this is the first time i m writing something please review**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter was hard for me firstly because Carlisle is my favorite character and I don't want to portray him bad but story demands so…. Secondly the ending was difficult too because jesper can't punish her for anything and I still want bella to be scared of him**

**…**

**Chapter two**

It hurt to bend my knees, I tried to be graceful but in this condition that is a hard thing to do. The best i can do is not cry out in pain. I hold my breath when my knees touch the hard wooden floor. I put my hands on my thighs and bowed my head in front of him like a good slave. Its not going to end well if I disrespected him in anyway. I know he is head of this house he has power over both of my masters. I am going to be with two masters. yes I accepted this I don't have any other choice. No matter how much I beg or cry, no one can change this decision. master Carlisle had decided this and my both master agreed on this.

When jeams come to take me downstairs I didn't fight him because I am scared of his _'Whatever it takes'_.

Now I am kneeling beside master Carlisle's chair waiting for instructions.

"what's your name slave" he asked

" b..bella master"

"look up bella"

his eyes are soft and clear but they held no sympathy in them.

"you look pretty beaten up bella, jesper is done a very good job"

I shivered violently remembering pain from his belt

"but know you deserved that. You will not disobey any of us ever again. Understand ?

".y….y…yes m.. master" I mumbled

"do u know who is your real master"

I nodded slowly. His brows furrow

"how do u know that" he asked in very hard voice

Ohhh god. I brought this upon my self now I am gonna get punished for eavesdropping.

SMAKE

He slapped me hard on my cheek my eyes tear up. i held my hand on my cheek to sooth the pain

"I asked you a question slave"

".i….I heard your conversation master"

"you shouldn't eavesdrop on someone else conversation"

"i…I …didn't master…I ..i was sleeping…I didn't ….i heard yelling….i…"

" I am not gonna punish you this time. I hope your masters would teach you better manners. Your masters is gonna give you their rules tonight, from tomorrow you belong to both of them. If I got any complain from them about you, I am gonna punish you. Did I make my self clear slave?"

"Yes master"

"Go to your room now you will have your dinner there tonight"

"Yes master"

I bowed my head to master Edward and master Jesper softly whispered goodnight and come to my room. I was staring outside from window of my room hugging my pillow thinking everything and nothing at the same time. Even after ten year of my slavery I still remember my teen age days my soft pink teddy, cold sweet ice creams, candies. I know I shouldn't think about all of these things I would never get them I not a teen, these things are for children's. I shouldn't think about them too I would never have a child, no master in this world will allow that I will live alone die alone, it's the worst thing when you have no one to love and no one to be loved….

"Are you all right" I turned and come nose to nose with master Edward I took two steps back and hit my back to window. I am strayed at him wide eyed. I gathered my courage and told him "I am sorry master" I was so deep in my thought I didn't here him coming

"You apologies a lot and that's not the answer to my question" he turned away from me and sat on bed.

"I am fine master" he didn't seem satisfied with my answer he pursed his lips and looked at me a log time. I thought to repeat my self when his lips curved up, he hold his hand out and said

"Come here I have something for you" I moved and took his hand he sat me beside him. I put my hand on my lap looking at floor.

"Eyes up bella" I looked at him. His eyes are golden brown they held concern in them they are so powerful so captivating and deep that you would forget every pain in your life. He held a paper in front of my eyes he smiled and said

"My rules" I took paper to read them there are only three.

**Edward's **Rules

Obey

Don't lie

Don't try to run

When I looked up at him from paper he said in very serious voice

"I hope you didn't miss the underline. When you break rule 1 and 2 there would be _only_ punishment and believe me you don't want to know about number 3"

Rule number three was never been my option and never gonna be. I had no where to run my mom died a long time ago and my dad was more abusive then all of my masters. I nodded my head in agreement.

"You didn't asked what I bring for you" he said

The page in my hand felt heavy I looked at it "I thought you are talking about rules"

"NOoo…" he looks hurt. Then he_ sighed_ deeply and fumbled in back of his shirt, put a big diary with attached pen on my lap

"it's a journal but you can write anything you want" I looked in my lap and touch the journal and pen with my finger tip I saw I drop of water on glossy cover of journal and I realized I had tear in my eyes again. Master Edward saw them too he holds my chin in his hand made me look at him

"Bella…..what's wrong"

"Thank you master"

"Your welcome bella but you didn't answer my question"

"I can't write master"

"Why. Haven't you been to school?" his eyes look sad

"I did master, but my master saw me writing once he...he punished me and broke my hand. He told me he will cut my fingers if I ever write again"

"I understand you are scared but he can't hurt you now"

When I didn't said anything

" OK, I'll bring you something else for you"

"I still want to have it master" I said

"Yeah take it anyway" then he smiled and added "may be you will find some new use of it." He took a deep breath and stood up so did I. its bad thing to stay sit when your master is standing

"I should go now its jesper's turn to show his rules" my breath left me my heart stuttering in my chest I looked in his eyes searching for some comfort.

"He'll just give you rules nothing else Carlisle said from tomorrow, remember" I nodded my head too fast for his satisfaction

"Don't worry, just obey and you will be fine. Ok?

I nodded again toward floor

"bella. Its ok" he said and hugged me a long time then his lips touched my hair, he mumbled good night then turned and left the room.

I stood there watching closed door wishing for him to come back. Of course he didn't. He is not my savior. He is my master I shouldn't have expected his to come back. I tried to mentally prepare my self to face master jesper. _Just obe_y that what master edward said. I was sitting on bed touching my journal and pen when door swing open, master jesper standing on doorway holding some papers. My breathing picked up his eyes is dark and angry. I looked down bowing my head.

"Don't you know how to greet a master?"

I didn't hesitated a second I put journal down and kneel on floor, put my hands on my thighs

"Knees apart" he said and come inside the room when he is satisfied with my pose. He sat on bed put his paper beside him.

"Come here" he didn't tell me to stand just to come so I crawl and kneeled in front of him. He kicked my knees to put them apart

"Do as many as laps as you can tonight slave. From tomorrow I won't let them slip"

I shiver at his threat. _Just obe_y

"Did Edward gave you his rules"

"Yes master"

"What are they?

"Obey, don't lie and don't try to run"

"These are mine, memorize them by the morning. If you break any of them you will regret it." He said and gave me three papers I saw total 28 rules with detailed description on two page and third page looks like time table.

"It is a schedule of my day. I have given you three breaks, breakfast and tea 15 minutes, lunch and dinner 30, 30 each on specific times. You won't get any other then that no matter how argent it is. So don't miss them and be back on time. Understand?"

"Yes master" he throws a glue stick in front of me.

"Go paste it in front of cupboard. No need to memorize it."

I would have to stand to paste it on cupboard so I asked permission when I reached cupboard.

"Permission to stand master?"

"Granted"

I pasted it firmly and kneel at his feet again he checked my knees once more, this time they are already apart. Then he fisted his hand on hair and made me look at him.

"Live all your life in this one night slave. From tomorrow you will never want to live a second of it."

He said and left the room

...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

I don't want this morning to come. Even now 3 in morning, I am holding master jasper's rule, memorizing them. I just have two more hours for them, at 5 master jesper will come, according to his schedule I should wake-up at 5, and bath before 6. Then I am supposed to clean house and help esme in kitchen. Esme is master Carlisle's wife but also his slave, she came last night to give me dinner, she told me every thing will be fine, just like master edward did. But I don't believe them, nothing is ever gonna be fine in my life, I am already 27, in one or two year, I would be thrown out like a used tissue, no one will keep me, my life is just gonna get worse and worse.

I was thinking about my old master. He was not a nice man, he always kept me in dark dungeon he rarely feed me but I wanted to stay with him because I started to believe he'll keep me. And here I have my own room full of light, my own bed. But I am scared they will throw me out ….

I was in deep thought when door burst open and Master jesper came inside holding a cane in his hand. I know I should greed him like last night but my word died in my throat

"Did you memorize the rules?" he asked standing in front of my bed

"No master, I am still doing that, I ..i didn't sleep, I tried whole night…I ."

"Have you read them once?" he asked, flickering cane on his hand.

"y..yes, but I didn't remember all of them master"

"Do you need motivation pet?" he said, looking at cane in his hands

"no , I …I'll memorize them.. . I promise ..i swear….i'll do it…" tears slips from my eye before I can stop myself

"Come here" he pointed on floor in front of him, I know I don't have a choice. I slide from bed and started to kneel in front of him, he flicked cane on my solder.

"Ahh" my breath hitched in my throat as pain shot through me

"Did I told you to kneel" he asked in hard voice

"No master"

I was standing in front of him with trembling legs. He put cane under my chin and made me look at him

"Tears won't help you pet, pay attention to my orders or you will just earn more punishments"

He circles around me once then stands behind me

"Spread your legs and put your hands behind your head"

I did as I am told but he is not happy

"Wider" he said putting cane between my legs and hitting my thighs

"'WIDER" he yelled, I spread my trembling legs as wide as I can, if I move one more inch I'll fall on floor. He seems satisfied; he circles once more, assessing his work

"Arch your back" he put head of cane on my back and made me arch my back till I was looking on ceiling. Then he step back and looked at me a long time

"Good. I want you in this pose every time I ask you to present your self. Do you understand?"

"Yes master"

"Now complete your morning schedule, help esme in kitchen, I'll see you at dining table 9 O'clock" and he left

I breathed a sigh of relief but master didn't punish me for not greeting him that was odd. I didn't have time to think about that I have to get ready.

Esme is already in kitchen when I reached there. I heisted on door, not sure I am suppose to ask permission or something. I choose safe side and asked

"May I come inside mistress" esme turned and smiled

"Of course and bella please call me esme"

"Yes mam….i mean esme. Master jesper ordered me to help you in breakfast."

"I am already finishing dear but will you keep an eye on this pasta I need to remind Carlisle about breakfast. He is always so busy in his study he forget about everything else"

When I nodded my head in agreement she leaves kitchen. I feel relief as soon as I am alone. esme is nice but still she is wife of head of this house, I don't want her to get mad at me. Cooking is not a new thing for me I did cook for some of my old masters. I love cooking but standing here doing nothing but stir boiling pasta is kind of boring. when I heard some movement behind me I turned and saw jeams coming inside kitchen I turned back on my pasta I don't want to give him any kind of wrong impression but I can feel him behind me. When he put his hand on my hip my heart came in my throat I turned "don't touch me, master jesper will be really angry at you" I don't know what master jesper is gonno do to me. I backed away from him and slide beside the counter

"oh come on love I wont tell him I promise lets have some fun" he said as he come toward me my breathing is ragged my chest heaved rapidly with heavy panting

"Leave now or I'll scream I swear I will" I threatened him in hard voice this worked he stopped but he looked angry

"Seriously you'll scream huh….ok then scream, let your master jesper come here then I'll tell him the truth"

"What truth" I am scared and confused like hell.

"You told me that jesper is pain in ass and you want to serve me not him"

"That's lie"

"Yes it is. But he won't trust you I am working for him from past 15 years and you came yesterday. So go ahead scream all you want" all my bravery is gone in his one threat because I know no one would trust me.

"Please why are you doing this" I plead with him. He walked toward me again and put his hand beside me on counter, blocking me completely.

"I tell you what, if you do as I say I won't create problem for you and if you won't, you'll spend your days having punishments" I whimpered I know I can't do anything I have no choice I'll have to do as he says.

"esme will be back soon. I see you later love" he bend down, kissed my neck and left

It took me whole minute to control my breathing and process what just happened. Burning smell catch my attention when i come to my senses. I saw pasta is totally ruined, tears rolled down on my cheek I know I am in trouble now. When esme come back I was sobbing openly.

"What happened bella why are you crying" her voice held concern but I know she is gonna punish me for this

"I forget esme, I was day dreaming, I am sorry" I lied, at this point no matter what I do, I am gonna be punished but I choose lie, so esme will punish me for burning pasta not master jesper. esme saw ruined pasta and started working on new one.

"Don't worry about it, we have to make it fast, Carlisle is waiting on dinning table, Edward and Jesper will be down soon"

"You are not going to punish me" this is new for me. Every mistake has its punishment I learnt that a long time ago

"No, and you are not going to tell anyone about it ok" I nodded in agreement and thanked her. We completed cooking together. Everyone sat on dinner table, I started serving.

"esme do you need anything else" I asked again in polite voice

"what did you call her" I turned at master jesper's hard voice, my eye gone wide as he get up from his chair, came to me and pulled my hair forcefully, at the same time master Edward did came between us. It happened so fast that I didn't even have time to blink.

"STOP jesper, I told her to call me esme" master jesper stared at me a long time before sitting again on his chair, master Edward rubs my back and gone to his chair too.

I served breakfast to everyone with my trembling hands. But master Carlisle not looking happy. I hope he didn't punish esme because of me. Master jesper told me to eat after everyone finished and also that I have 30 minutes to finish my breakfast and come in room, he'll be there. I didn't eat anything, I am too scared for that, but facing master jesper is not as much terrifying as facing jeams. I don't know what he has in mind, what he is going to do. Will I be able to hide it, what master jesper will do when he find out?

When I enter in room master jesper is sitting on bed, holding my journal. I asked his permission to come inside then to kneel in front of him. He seems satisfied by my behavior.

"Where does this come from?" he asked holding my journal. I know I can't lie now because he knows I didn't have anything of my own.

"Master edward gave me" he throws it on bed and muttered angrily

He didn't say anything more about journal. He spend whole day explaining me rules and how to memorize them. After lunch he told me just to remember points not their description. I don't know why I feel he is being lenient with me now, he didn't show any mercy yesterday so why now, or may be I am just imagining it. At dinner he told me he is giving me one day to memorize rules and I am free for night but I am not suppose to leave my room. In my room I feel relief, being alone is a good thing for me, no one to punish me, no one to bow my head and no one to serve. But I am worried now why no one has used me yet, why don't they want. I want to stay here, I want them to keep me but how will I please them if they won't use me.

I was memorizing rules again when esme came to my room.

"bella its too late love. Why didn't you sleep yet?"

"I am memorizing master jesper's rule, he told me to finish it before his day"

"He gave you lots of home work, didn't he?" she said when she saw stack of papers in my hand.

"he gave me lots of time too esme, yesterday he told me to do it till morning but today he gave me one more day for it"

"Yeah I know that, thanks to Edward"

"esme can I ask you something"

"I think you should ask Edward what he did"

"I .. I don't ..i mean I am curious but I want to ask you something else. Do I have permission?"

"bella you can ask me anything you want, you don't need to ask permission"

"Did master Carlisle punished you for letting me call you by your name"

"No love he didn't My relationship with him is very different from what you have seen in life. I am not saying that didn't punishes me, I am saying is that he is different, he punish me emotionally never physically, he loves me and cares for me a lot"

It took me a long time to grasp what she said but still master Carlisle being nice to someone is too hard for me to accept.

"He is not a bad person bella, I know he slapped you that day, he is impatient and short tempered and that day was particularly bad for him but still I am sorry for that."

"no esme, I am not new in this life I shouldn't hesitate at master's order"

"You are a sweet girl bella, if you have any problem or if you want anything you can come to me anytime. Now go to sleep its too late. i'll help you tomorrow to memorize these OK ?"

"Ok esme" I said happily we said goodnight before she left. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I know I have one person to hold on to.


	5. Chapter 5

I am so happy this morning its master Edward's day. I know its stupid of me to think he is different I mean he is my master, I have to obey his rules, I will be punished if I didn't but still he is ….different. I spend my shower time in dreaming what this day will bring for me. I was sitting on bed with my journal in lap when someone knocked the door. I got scared and before I can say anything door opened, fear froze in my eyes. I never had known any person who will knock a slave's door before entering. But its master Edward wearing milky white shirt and white pants his eyes are shining with happiness which I am feeling now, a smile spread across his lips when he saw me sitting with my journal.

"Good morning"

"Good morning master"

"I have something for you"

I saw his empty hands and he chuckled

"It's not a thing, it's just news. I think you will love to hear"

I waited for him to continue but he just looked at me like he is waiting for something too. When he was sure I am not going to say any thing. He came to sit beside me and asked softly

"Aren't you going to ask what the news is?"

"Do I have permission to ask master?"

He pursed his lips and I saw disappointment in his eyes

"You don't need to ask permission bella I have given you simple rules. You don't need my permission for any thing as long as you obey me and don't lie, that's all I want from you"

I know I did the wrong thing I should have asked simply but now I disappointed him

"I am sorry master" I mutter looking at my lap

"bella….please stop this… stop apologizing every time"

i gritted my teeth to stop my tear it will only make things worse. He was so happy when he came inside and now I ruined his mood. I am a useless pathetic slave….

His long finger touched my chin to pull it up. His eyes are full of emotion i couldn't put a name on it

"I am sorry bella. I know…" I started shaking my head I just can't hear him apologizing

"No master, don't say sorry it's my fault…" he didn't let me finish either

"Ok forget everything and let's start over ok"

"I have good news..." I didn't let him finish again I want to make him happy

"What is the news master" he smiled

"Carlisle found a new girl. She is also from forks. She will be here soon. So I think you won't suffer longer"

I know forks is small town people will notice if some one disappear. But I am more worried about the girl what master jasper will do to her, will she be able to handle it, she must be experienced that's why master Carlisle choose her but I had to ask

"How long she had been a slave, I mean I hope she will adjust soon here"

He looked away from me and sighs loudly

"she is new bella, and young too, may be even a virgin, she don't know about this life, her parents died in car accident last year she was living in a orphan house its going to take some time but I think she is going to need some training"

I am not happy how I can be, having some poor child suffer because of me. I can't let it happen

"Master I am ok I can serve both of you, I will keep both of you satisfied please don't make some one else suffer because of me"

"Bella it's going to happen anyway it's not your fault. I don't want to discuss this any more, get ready after lunch we are going out" his voice become cold and emotionless in the end

"Yes master" I said simply. I know his rule include obey. He stands and walks toward the door but may be he noticed my sadness

"She will be fine here bella you don't need to worry about it … and you are free to leave this room ok?"

"Yes master" I nodded and he left

…

I did have my lunch in my room; I helped esme in kitchen again. I like her she is really nice she did hide my burning pasta incident, she also asked what would I like to eat it's a new thing for a person like me. I didn't have any more incidents with James but when ever I saw him he was always looking at me with _that_ kind of eyes. I was staring at ceiling when Master Edward knocked on the door. I know it's him no one else knocks on my door, not even esme.

I sit up as he came inside

"ohh are you sleeping, did I disturbed you"

"No master I was waiting for you, I was just laying on bed, thinking. Nothing else"

"Oh what were you thinking" he asked as he came inside and sit beside me

But now I am in trouble. I can't tell him about James, I can't tell him about ruined pasta so I chose one think I can tell him and which is true too

"I like esme I was thinking how nice she is with me; she asked me today what I want to have in dinner"

He didn't say anything a long time. He is just looked in my eyes, I don't know what he is searching for but I started feeling nervous, the smile on my face left me and I looked down on floor.

"I know what you said is the truth bella, but hiding something is equal to lying to me" he said in a hard voice

"Master i…."

"You know my rules I am letting this incident go but next time I will punish you"

"I am sorry master"

"Lets go I have plans for us"

And we left my room; he was leading me toward front door when Carlisle asked from hall "where are you taking her" his strong voice vibrated my sole

"humm some shopping, movie, dinner, or ice cream…. may be something else" I gasped loudly I didn't know his plans I should have asked him I should have stopped him. Carlisle won't punish him but he'll punish me.

"Have you forgotten she is a slave Edward?"

"I haven't forgotten she is a person too and it's my day I am free to choose whatever I want to do with her"

He didn't wait for answer he guided me out of door. But my trembling didn't stop.

"Its ok, he wont punish you for my choice" he said in soft voice and rubbed my back. On porch a car waiting for us, its not the same one from which I came, it's a big one. My eyes flicker toward driver and I stopped in my tracks. James watching me with cold eyes from the driver seat, it seems like he is also not happy with me going any where. But in all this thinking I forgot master Edward is beside me, and now he is watching me. Instantly I looked down at the floor. I don't want Master Edward to think that something is wrong or I am interested in James.

"James give me the keys" master Edward said in a hard voice,

"Sir I am free right now, master jasper gave me a day off, and I can drive you to your destination"

"Give. Me. The. Keys." With this voice I am sure Master Edward thinks something is wrong

James dropped the keys in Master Edward's hand and gone inside. Master took my hand and leads me into the car. He took the driver seat.

"Put your seat belt on" his voice still had no emotion. I know this day is not going to be easy for me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Master didn't talk to me whole ride. The silence in the car is heavy. I thought of apologizing few times but then I remember his words from this morning _"…stop apologizing every time"._ I want to make small talk but I don't want to provoke him so I kept quite. When we reached a huge building he parked the car and turn toward me.

"Whatever happened I don't want it to ruin our day. I want you to put this behind and enjoy this day. We will discuss this at home. Ok?"

"Yes master" I nodded in agreement but I don't think I can put it behind now. I can't enjoy this if he stays mad at me. I need to apologize.

"What is it?" he asked

"Master…. Are you mad at me? Punish me if you want but please don't be mad at me."

He holds my face in his hands and made me look at him

"I am not at mad at you Bella. I am mad at my self. I was being ignorant but now I have to find whatever James and jasper are doing. I won't let them to hurt you. You don't need to worry about it" he kissed my forehead and looked at my face again.

"Is there something else" he asked. I know my face is showing everything I am feeling. My mind is screaming to tell him about jeams_. _He told you clearly_ 'hiding is equal to lying to me'_ but I can't tell him. I don't have that courage so I choose the other thing I want to ask him

"Master I want to ask something" he didn't gave me permission. He just waited for me to continue. So I asked the thing I wanted to ask him the most.

"Master why master jasper is being lenient on me. When I asked esme she told me to ask you"

He smiled and shakes his head

"That is what getting you so worked up. Seriously bella you worry so much. I just made a deal with him. I had something he wanted from a long time so I gave him that"

"What is that he wanted?"

"It's a vintage jaguar e type car" my mouth falls open. He gave his car just like that for me

"It's nothing bella. Now you are going to worry about that too. Come on I don't want to miss the beginning of this movie"

And he leads me inside the movie theater

We saw a movie named face punch. I was pulling master's shirt on every scary scene. When we came out he laughed looking at his wrinkled sleeves. And I smiled seeing that I am making him happy. When we are back in car he told me he was taking me to dinner. But I remember I told esme I like mushroom ravioli she is going to make it for me tonight. I know I can't disobey Master Edward. But I don't want to hurt esme's feeling too.

"Now what?" His voice sound tired. I know I am hurting him now but I am so massed up I don't know what to do.

"bella ?" he asked again. But I was still in dilemma not sure whom I can hurt. He stopped the car.

"bella if you don't want to be with me say so I'll take you home right now" and now I can't stop my tears. It's my fault he thinks like this. I want to go with him to dinner and I don't want to hurt esme's feeling. This is the first time some one making something especially for me.

When he saw tears flowing dawn my chicks. He pinches the bride of his nose and groaned loudly. I know he is getting frustrated with me I know I should say something but nothing is came in my mind to make it ok.

He took a deep breath and takes a U turn.

"Are we going back?" my voice came as scared

"Yes" he didn't even look at me. I hate my self.

"Master.. I..."

"You don't need to apologize. bella. It's ok." Now my mind goes blank. I started speaking with out even knowing what I am doing. Telling him everything or crying

"M..Master please….its not that."

"bella" concern in his voice is clear

"Please master lesion to me. I ..i didn't mean it like that. It's just that I don't want to hurt esme and I want to go with you. She is going to make dinner especially for me and you planned this only for me.

"bella …its ok. I …."

"She ….she is so sweet with me. You are so nice. I … I just can't decide. I can't hurt any one of you. Now I hurt you any way. Master I don't know what to do. I ….i was so confused. I…"

"shh… shh its ok…. It's ok bella. Look at me." I don't know when he stopped the car or when he holds me in his hands.

"It's ok. We will go home it's as simple is that. I am not hurt. I am happy you told me the truth, but why you didn't told me this earlier"

"I…..i was so scared"

"bella you don't need to be scared of me. I won't punish for telling me the truth."

"I am not scared of you. I am scared of hurting you"

"Just obey my rules those are the only thing I can't tolerate. Ok?"

"Y..yes master" my voice still sound sad

"What else?" how does he knows there is something else. I know only truth will make him happy so I did

"I want to go dinner with you"

"I want to go too but tonight we are going home."

I just nodded.

"Stop crying and we will go dinner next time"

"Yes master"

"But we are going to shopping before going home"

And we turned again. We did lots of shopping. He brought me a mobile phone and told me to call him whenever I need. We did go in a boutique where master made me wear lots of dresses. Some of them were elegant long and other are short sexy. He decided some of both to take. When reached home he gave me a gift

"Take it but I want you to open it in front of me" he leads me inside and told me to take things upstairs and come back for dinner

When I came down in dinner hall they all are already seated except esme. She is still serving food so I moved to help her.

"bella come sit beside me" master Edward's voice stopped me in tracks.

I did as I was told. I was kneeled beside master.

"Sit on chair please" he said in hard voice. I just stared toward him. It's not possible no master gave that privilege to their slave.

"Edward…."

"Carlisle it's my day"

"No matter whose day it is. It's not going to happen ever. She will eat after every one else, seating at the floor and it's my order."

"FINE. I'll have my dinner in my room" he said

"bella bring our food in my room" and he left. Every one is staring at me. I don't have choice other then getting food and taking in his room.

We did eat together. Then he took me to my room. He told me to open his gift. It was a wrist watch. It has thin chains attached to dial and its dial surrounded by lots of diamond. It's beyond beautiful.

"Thank you master"

"It's so you won't mess-up in jasper's schedule"

"Thank you"

"I want you to wear it full time. You can remove it for your bath"

"Yes master"

"Ok then good night. You have to wake up early tomorrow. Its jasper's day"

"y..yes m..master"

"it will be all over soon don't worry." With these words he holds my face and touched his lips with mine. It's so soft and simple just like his pampering and care.

"Good night" he whispered softly and left my room.

I don't know why but I cried my self to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**OK. Be warned it's a bad chapter. I mean darker kind of bad. so read it on your own risk. Two request. Please review to keep me motivated. Second I need beta reader so please help me with that too.**

Chapter 7

Today's morning is pleasant. I feel very light and free. I took a long bath, fantasizing about master Edward and me. When I came out from bathroom I heard voices coming from outside. I don't know what they are talking but I can hear lots of different voices. I get curious so I crake the door open slightly. I can see everyone outside esme, master Carlisle, master Jasper and master Edward.

"I need to go now mom. I can't trust jasper with anything. The sooner I finish this the better." Master edward is not sounding happy

"Like I can trust you" master jasper's voice is full of sarcasms

"Edward please wait a little bit. Carlisle will do it in his own time"

"I can't esme not if jasper don't lesion to me."

Master jasper laughed

"You don't order your slave but you want to order me. Seriously Edward you should have some training how to treat a slave"

"Soon you will have your slave to treat her the way you want"

"I will choose which one I want to have"

"YOU DON'T HAVE THAT CHOICE"

"EDWARD….." Carlisle roared in anger

"Carlisle you told me…."

"I am telling you this now. i'll decide who will chose first"

Master Edward looked at him a long time then he sighted and said

"I will bring her with me"

And he is gone.

This is terrifying. There is going to be choice between two of us. No matter who choose first my chances are very less. She is new and young just 19 years old and may be even a virgin. Why any one would chose me. I am a used, old, second hand toy. What if Carlisle gives me to master jasper? Master Edward won't be able to do any thing. And why would master Edward object, he never said he want me, just he don't want me to suffer. But does he mean no one will have me. What will happen if they both reject me? Why would they keep me if they don't want to use me? Are they going to sell me? But who will buy me? I am already 27 year old.

There are so many questions running in my head. I know I won't get answers of even a single of them. But If I didn't start morning schedule of master jasper, I'll be punished. I memorized his rules already so I am not worried about it.

He came late in my room, may be he is still trying to convene master Carlisle to let him choose first. But when he came in room he didn't have cane in his hand that is huge relief for me.

I was kneeling properly I remembered to keep my knees apart

"Good morning"

I didn't say anything I know this is a test. I know rule number 7 don't speak without permission.

"Good so you finally memorized my rule, that's good"

As always he came and sits on bed.

"You have permission to answer my questions. Did you follow my schedule?"

"Yes master"

"hummm good. Let see how thoroughly you memorized my rules"

"What's the rule number 17?" he asked

"slave will always address master by the title."

"number 9?"

"slave must show gratitude for punishment and discipline. Master"

"25"

"slave will always keep their eyes averted. Master"

"1"

" slave is to kneel whenever the Master is due to arrive and wait quietly. Master"

"What is that?"

The sudden change in his questioning brought my head up to see what he is asking about

SMACK

His slap brings tears in my eyes.

"Did I give you permission to look up? You pathetic slave"

He took my wrist from my lap and snatched Master Edward's watch. He threw it on floor in front of me.

"You started stealing things from your masters' house. Where the hell is this come from?" he is yelling on the top of his lungs. I have never seen him this angry

"ANSWER ME"

"I…m ..master Edward….. g ..gave it to me as a gift master"

"Seems like you and _your _master Edward had forgotten you are a slave. I think a little reminder for you will be good.. …stand up and present your self"

I got on my feet but _present your self_. I know I did it before but I can't remember it

"Present your self. NOW" his voice fills me with dread. i don't know what to do. Why can't I remember it?

"I …I am sorry master I can't remember it" I was trembling so hard I doubt I would be able to stand long

"Brilliant. you don't remember the only position I taught you and now you don't remember the rules I gave you for three fucking days to memories" he stands from bed and unbuckled his belt

My lags gave up and I fall on the floor. I touched his boots hoping to please him in any way to avoid this horrible punishment

"ohh god….m master please….. please have some Marcy" my teeth started chattering.

"What's the rule number seven pat?" I heard his belt sliding from the loops and I forgot everything else.

"I…I master…I am sorry"

SMACK SMACK SMACK

"you better remember my rules or I will make you remember"

SMACK SMACK SMACK

I screamed and screamed as he continued hitting me. I scrambled back and hold my hand in hope to stop the torrent but he didn't stop he hits my hand, face and every inch of my body.

When he is done I didn't have strength to scream. I am just a sobbing mass on the floor.

"do you remember rule and position now ?"

"d…do..n. not speak with out permission" my throat feels so dry when I spoke like a sand paper rubbing it hard.

"And now you need help in remembering my title"

SMACK SMACK SMACK

"master…. MASTER"

SMACK SMACK SMACK

"ohh please please please…

SMACK SMACK SMACK

He is not going to stop, not tonight, not ever. No one is here to save me. Master Edward is not here to save me. After some time I gave up begging knowing nothing will work. My breaths are coming in short gasps. Pain is the only thing I know. I'll die tonight

But he did stop. May be he is bored seeing no response from my body or may be his hands started hurting.

"Get up"

I tried but I couldn't move. i scrambled to get up but I was too slow for him. He kicked me on ribs

"GET UP."

I was getting up on my hand when he pulled me up by hair

"Spread your legs, put your hands behind your head and arch your back"

I did my best to do as he asked

"This is the position I taught you. If you do one more mistake today and I'll show you true meaning of pain." he said and throws me on floor

"Go help esme in kitchen. I'll punish you later tonight."

And he left my room


	8. Chapter 8

**Please review guys I need them.**

Chapter 8

I folded my knees to my chest and sobbed a long time. Pain and reminder of another punishment keeps my tears flowing. I am too tired to move but if I didn't go to kitchen soon I'll be punished more. I did some breathing exercise and gathered my strength. It took me fifteen minute to go down stair. I tried to hide my body in my scattered clothes. When i did reached kitchen flat on my belly esme was cooking. I called her but she didn't hear. I swallowed and tried again

"e..eeesme"

She turned. Her face is gone white when she saw me on the floor.

"Bellaaaa….what happened" she run toward me, and took me in her embrace

"eee….esme I ..i need ..to ..help …you" every word is scraping my raw throat

"shhh don't say any thing. Wait here." She set me up on floor and I leaned on kitchen wall, closing my eyes. I just wanted to sleep.

"Here open your mouth bella" she poured water in my mouth. I feel relief as I gulp water as fast as I can. I started coughing and my relief stopped.

"noooooo..Please" I opened my eyes and searched for water

"Slow bella. Drink it slowly" esme's soothing voice helped me to clam a bit.

I hold the bottle to my lips till it drained completely

"Thank you esme"

"Are you ok here? I am going to call Carlisle"

"no ….no esme please don't" I started shaking my head knowing I'll be punished more if Carlisle know about it.

"bella you need a doctor. I'll be back in a minute"

"NOOO he'll punish me esme please don't tell him" I said and hugged her tightly with my all strength. I won't let her go to master no matter what.

"bella…..he wont" she tried to pry my hands from her back. But I hold more tightly

"What's going on" master Carlisle said

I turned and saw him standing on door with James on his side. I am hysterical by seeing them. How many punishment I can endure in a day.

"Ohh. Carlisle thank god you came. She needs your help" esme said while I tried to hide in esme's lap.

"James. Tell jasper to come in my study room."

"Yes sir"

Soon I can sense master Carlisle behind me.

"Why are you calling jasper you know he did it? She is already scared. She thinks you'll punish her too and you …."

"Not now esme" he said and he took hold of my hand to let esme free. But I am already in panic.

"NOOOOO….." I screamed and started straggling to get my hands free.

"Carlisle don't do this please" esme pleaded and she holds me tightly too

"You told me to help her esme. Remember. We need to get her to my study so I can treat her."

"Ohh. I thought…well…..bella can you loose me a little so I can help you up." But master Carlisle already had her free from me. I am shivering violently; his hold on my shoulder is only thing keeping me up.

"I don't think she can walk" esme said when master Carlisle turned me toward the door.

Master looked at me from head to toe a long time. Then bend down and picked me up, a loud sob broke through my lips.

"Shhhh its ok I am not gonno hurt you" his voice is steel hard but these are first soothing words I heard from him. I can't believe he is the same person who hit me two days ago.

When he put me on couch in his study, we saw my tear had stained his shirt

"I ..I am sorry master" he just looked at me.

"You need to relax and control your breathing. esme clean her face there is blood on her hair too. I'll get my bags"

Esme got wet cloth and sit beside me.

"Why are you still crying bella" she said while cleaning my face. I don't even know I am still crying. I just wish they kill me that is much better then getting punished every day.

"I don't know esme" my tears are still flowing

"bella he is not going to hurt you I promise" esme said while patting my hair

When Carlisle came with his bag in hand and stethoscope around his throat, my body got tense and I looked at esme for more soothing words. But it's Carlisle who broke the silence

"You need to stop crying."

I don't know what else to say so I tried to control my tears while Carlisle took my wrist and checked my pulse. He put antiseptic on cuts on my cheeks and gave it to esme and told her to do it for everywhere else later. He also gave her some pain killers for me.

"WHERE IS SHE? You pathetic whore how dare you…." master jasper came inside storming toward me and I huddled back on couch but its futile effort. He had me by my throat and held me up in air, choking me completely. Till this time I wanted to die but now I am fighting for my breath. I don't want to die without seeing Master Edward.

"You are conspiring behind my back. What did you tell them huh, that it's not your fault, that I beat you without any reason? I told you to help esme and this is what you doing."

I was clawing on his hand, furiously shaking my lags to get my self free.

"Jasper put her down or I won't let you have a slave. EVER." Master Carlisle said in so calming voice that it became more threatening.

Master jesper's grip become lose and I hit the floor. I tried to scramble back but esme held me in her arms. Now I am concentrating only on getting oxygen in my system but it still feels like he is choking me.

"Esme help her to sit on couch. Jasper Sit down. We need to talk" master Carlisle pointed at the chair in front of couch for master jasper

"I want to know what happened and you won't say a word to her while we do this. Did I make my self clear?"

Master jasper just nodded

"What's your story jasper" master Carlisle asked

"She had forgotten her place because of Edward. So she broke rules, didn't remember only position I taught her and most important she don't consider me her master that is why she forgot my title too."

What he said is true I did forget position, I broke rules, I forgot his title too but the way he said it seems I did it intentionally. I don't consider him master, that's too much, every part of my body knows how much he owns me. I never forget this pain; never forget he is my master.

"What's yours" master Carlisle asked me

I thought to tell him how master jasper reacted on watch but then I remember master Carlisle stopped master Edward from taking me outside yesterday so I know it's my fault and if I say a word against master jasper, he'll take that out on me later. I can never go against him.

"i…I am sorry m..master. I had f.. forgotten my place. I d…deserve to be punished" speaking hurt my throat. But hardest thing is to stop my tears knowing I'll be punished from both of them.

No one spoke a long time; I started to feel the burden of silence. Did I say something wrong? May be I shouldn't have added the last part. Are they thinking how to punish me now?

"You are right you deserve punishment" master Carlisle said

I shake violently in esme's arms. It's my fault I put the idea in his mind now

"But Carlisle. look at her once she is…"

"Esme. My decision has been made. The only thing I am thinking is when and how." Master Carlisle said stared at me. I bowed my head in submission. He is the head of the house even esme won't go against him.

"I already told her I'll punish her tonight. Do you want to punish now or at night" I whimpered as master jasper asked. This is what he wants me getting punished from Carlisle and him too. But will I survive this?

"You are not punishing her. Till the time I decide who will have her, you are not allowed to punish her." I look up and saw he is still staring at me. I did offended him I can see it in his eyes. But I don't understand he is saving me from master jasper and then going to hurt me him self.

"Carlisle her behavior is wrong toward me if I don't punish her she would never respect me. I should punish her properly" at this point master turned his eyes toward master jasper

"She is not your property. Yet. So getting her respect or your title or punishing her is not in your hand. Right now she is a house slave who is serving you and Edward. As the head of the house I decide her punishment and put her through it. No more discussion. Now go to your room."

I can feel Master jasper eyes on me. He didn't say anything and left the room. I felt relief when he left the room but the next word from master Carlisle killed by relief.

"esme you too"

"No. no no no no…." I stared screaming and shaking. I hold esme's dress in fist behind her back. She is only person holding my hope to live.

"What. No Carlisle I won't leave her alone."

"No. please no…m..master I beg you…" my crying or begging doesn't affect him at all.

"That's an order esme. Leave the room." His voice changed suddenly like he is giving a clear warning.

"Carlisle please don't make me. Don't punish her. She will die. You are a doctor you know her condition. You know how jasper is. He over react every time and he is doing it to hurt Edward you know..

"ENOUGH. Leave the room and wait for me in dungeon"

Esme and i both are tensed in our embrace. It seems esme is in shock too. But Dungeon. He is going to punish her because of me.

"NOW"

I lose my grip on esme so she could leave but she didn't move an inch. She is staring at master like she couldn't believe he is here.

"Go esme. Go please. I don't want you to get in trouble because of me" that helped her get out of shock esme turned to kiss my head and left the room.

"It seems it's my fault that I don't control my family that's why no one listens to me at once." I fold my hands under my chest hold my self together but it's not working my trembling intensified when esme left and now I couldn't ever breathe as master Carlisle took chair beside the couch and set in front of me.

"bella I am going to ask some questions. I will punish you but how severe it will be depends on your answers"

"I am giving you chance to save your self. Tell me what _happened_" his emphasis on word happened remind me that when he asked my story I didn't answer his question. Is that's why he send master jasper out of the room?. Is he giving me chance to avoid punishment? But I know I can't go against master jasper.

"I didn't do it intentionally but there is no excuse master."

"Last chance what _happened_" his voice clearly showing I don't have a choice. Without even thing words started coming out of my mouth. I told him everything including watch incident.

"Jasper over reacted but he is right about not giving him respect too. Even after so much experience you still don't obey a command. You will be punished only for not obeying me and him. For nothing else. Are we clear?

"Y…yes master thank you for explaining."

"Jasper already gave you physical punishment twice but I think its not working. You are getting use to it. May be some humiliation will work. Your punishment is that you are not allowed to use your hands and feet for one week."

"master please kindly explain this worthless slave what is the punishment"

"It means other then crawling you are dependent on your master if you want to have bath or food or go restroom. You need his help. He can make it humiliating or comfortable to you. It depends on your behavior toward your master. Is it clear now?

"y…yes. M master"

"good now you can go to your room and rest for evening. I'll send someone to put salve on your bruises tonight."

I know he think I am not obedient I should follow his word but I risked it for her.

"master can I make a request"

"what is it"

"master its not esme's fault. She was just trying to help me I request you to punish me instead of her"

"its between me and her and you are in no position to negotiate it. Now leave."

And I did left.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry guys. I know I am late time but I did what you requested. I found a beta. Thanks to her for everything she taught me and helped me. next chapter is completed but I need new beta's and I wont publish anything till it beta read so keep patience and REVIEW it only thing I am writing for.**

Chapter 9

The only thing I'm thinking after landing on bed is what Esme will be going through because of me. I wish I could take her place. I know Esme believes that Carlisle won't hurt her, but what else is there to do in a dungeon? Her words are still clear in my mind "He punishes me emotionally, never physically." I really don't know what it means, but it sounds cruel. It can't be worse than physical punishment. None of it would have happened if I would have remembered my position. She is in trouble because of me. Master Jasper was right— I forgot his rule, his given posture, and most importantly, that I am a slave.

As evening came close, I got more and more worried. I'm not sure what should I do, follow Master Jasper's schedule and help Esme in kitchen or follow Master Carlisle's punishment of not using my hands and feet, and rest as he ordered. At last I decided to go down stairs to ask them.

When I reached the down stairs, I saw Master Jasper having dinner and James serving him food.

"Who gave you permission to come down?" Master Jasper asked when he saw me crawling down the stairs.

"I-I came to help Esme in kitchen, according to schedule, Master."

"Esme is not cooking tonight. Now go to your room." He dismissed me, so it's easy for me now. I just have to rest in my room without worrying about anything.

"Yes, Master," I said happily. I turned and stared crawling up.

"Stop. Come here have dinner with me." My happiness is short-lived as I turn again and see Master Jasper smiling toward me. I don't know what he is up to, but his smile seems as cruel as his belt.

"You haven't learnt your lesson yet. Still hesitating in following orders?"

I know Master Carlisle wouldn't let him punish me, but god knows what else he can come up with. How much I will have to endure to learn this lesson. I crawling to him and kneeled at his feet, knees apart, looking down just as he likes. His hand found my hairs and snatched my head up.

"I know you know I can't punish you, but I am counting everything. I will take it out on you when you are mine," he said and then throws my head toward floor.

No, this can't happen. Is he really going to choose me over her? I am old and used, why does he want me? He only wants to hurt me. That's why? But what did I do? I am doing everything to please him, but still failing in every attempt.

"Have your dinner, pet." His voice broke my thoughts and James put a dog bowl in front of me. Till this time I hadn't thought how I would eat without using my hand, but now it's becoming clearer. This is not humiliation; this is degradation and its worse than beating. I can't do this. I wish he would rather punish me, beat me, or kill me.

"You are getting on my nerves. Are you going to eat or you want me to force you?" I started shaking my head no.

"I …I can't do this. I won't...beat me all you want …I just can't…"

"Ok. Very well. James ask Carlisle to come here and see this."

"No, please, Master." I put my head on his shoe but he didn't stop James.

I am trembling and sobbing at my decision. I should have done as he asked, but now I have to face Master Carlisle. More punishment, more humiliation. Every time I think I won't disobey him, he asks something beyond belief and I do it, over and over again. This day doesn't want to end.

"I told you, Carlisle. She needs punishment from me. This humiliation thing doesn't work with her. See, she is refusing to follow my order."

I look up and see Master Carlisle coming toward me with a strange expression on his face. He looks angry like someone has waked him up from sleep.

"What's the matter with you? Do you me to put you in the slave training program?" he asked in a hard voice.

I shivered at his threat, no slave in this world wants to go through that again.

"No, Master, please." I put my head on floor in front of him.

"Then do as he says and eat your food. I don't have time for all this."

"I can't." I don't know where this courage is coming from, but it's not good. I want to keep my mouth shut and throw this courage out of my system. It will only make things worse.

"What? What did you just say?" Master Carlisle's clam voice broke me completely.

"Please, Master, have some mercy on this worthless slave. Please, I beg you. I can't eat like this."

"You should start pleasing your masters. You wouldn't be in this condition if you would have. And stop begging. It won't get you anywhere. It's not my place to give you mercy. Ask your master and _start following the orders_. I am not punishing you for your disobedience because you are in bad shape already, but I will make you regret it later."

"And you, Jasper, there are ways to control slaves other than punishing. Next time, don't disturb me while I am in dungeon for such silly things." He is mad, maybe more than that. God knows what's going on with Esme in dungeon.

Master Jasper just nods in agreement.

When Master Carlisle is gone I tried again.

"Master, please, I beg you. Have some mercy on me." Master Jasper seems happy with my begging.

"I want you to talk about yourself in third person from now on." Where is this coming from? Did I talk like that in front of him? But this time I didn't think twice about it and I follow his order.

"This slave is sorry, Master. Please have some mercy on her." It's not a new thing for me and not particularly disgusting either. If I get free from this degradation I will talk my whole life in third person.

"I am being lenient and kind with you. Otherwise, I would have made you eat from floor and make your tongue do the cleaning job. Eat. now." Now I really think he is being kind, but still I can't. I know things will get worse if I don't do it now. But, I just can't.

"Please…"

"James. Hold her hands."

"No...please…" I hold my hands tightly to my chest, but it doesn't work. I struggle and it got Master angrier. He slaps and kicks me to get my hands free, James pulling my hair to loosen my grip. After some time they win, James holds my hands behind my back and Master forces my mouth on bowl. It's oatmeal. My face, my nose, even my hair is filled with it. I know I can't fight it now so I stop thinking and start eating.

"Don't you dare stop before finishing it." And so I eat like a bitch from that bowl.

I am just finishing when I see Esme coming out from dungeon and Master Carlisle is just behind her. Her eyes are full of tears and she is looking at floor. When she sees me she stops, the look on her face brings tears to my eyes. I wish the earth would swallow me in this moment. She turns toward Master Carlisle.

"Upstairs," Master Carlisle said to her. She nods and leaves without looking at me.

Master Carlisle comes toward me.

"You need to start learning or you always get yourself and her in trouble."

"I-I am sorry, Master."

He is not happy with my answer. He shakes his head and moves toward the stairs. I shouldn't stop him; it's not my place to ask questions, but I just can't stand not knowing. I need to ask even if it gets him mad at me.

"Master…Master Carlisle." He stops in his tracks when I say his name.

"Please, can I see her once, Master?" I don't ask permission to ask him, I just did it. I don't know what I would have done if he said no.

He turns. His eyes hold a kindness which I have never seen before.

"I told her to put salve on your bruises, so she will come to your room tonight. You can see her at that time, but I forbade her to talk to you, so don't encourage her to do so or she will earn more punishment because of you."

"Thank you, Master." He didn't say anything and left.

"I told you to talk about yourself in third person, but you didn't."

"I am…this slave is sorry, Master."

"You will be. Go to your room."

I want to clean my face and hair but I can't use my hands. So I decide to plead with my master because I know he likes it.

"Please, Master. Does this slave have permission to clean her face, Master?"

He laughs and throws full glass water into my face. I gasped as the cold water hits my face.  
It brought my hands to my face to clean water from my eyes. It's an involuntary reaction, but Master Jasper gets angrier and slaps me again.

"I didn't give you permission to use your hands. I don't want your face cleaned till the time Edward comes. He needs to know what I did to you. Go to your room. And for your information tomorrow is also mine because Edward won't be back. He is more interested in finding a new slave."

I just look at him. How can someone be so cruel? Why is he so eager to hurt Master Edward? Why with me …

"James, help her go upstairs" Master Jasper's voice broke my train of thought. I move toward stairs but James uses the excuse to hit me and kick me all the way to my door like a dog.

When I enter the room I think he will leave, but he comes inside. I turn and see him putting on the latch.

"W-what are you doing?" My voice is filled with the terror I am feeling.

"Hummmm…..it's been a long time. You must have missed me."

"Leave now. Master knows you are with me." He want to get me in trouble, I know it.

"Don't worry. I can tell him you seduced me with your ass while you crawled up. Seriously, I like you this way. Your skirt moves so good. It's mouthwatering."

"Shut up. Just shut up." He comes toward me and has me standing on my toes with my hair in his hands.

"You won't talk to me like that. I am not your master who can't punish you. I am James—I do whatever I want whenever I want."

"Why are you doing this? What did I do?" Tears flow down my cheeks.

"You didn't do anything, that's the problem. Why don't you do it now? Remove your cloths so I can have little fun." He has his hands under my skirt by this time.

"Don't, please." I start shaking in terror. I am scared of what he is going to do to me and more scared what Master Jasper will do when he finds out.

"You know the bad thing about you? You beg a lot, but you know what….. it turns me on." His fingers trail between my legs and find my underwear. I start hitting his chest, but that gets him more excited. He pinches my clit between his fingers and I scream.

Master Jasper must have heard me. Within seconds his voice comes. "JAMES!"

That gets me free from his grip. He looks mad and growls loudly.

"I hate him…and you. I am not done with you. I will make you scream worse than this." He kicks me in the stomach and leaves.

So much happened in this one day. I wish Master Edward was here. But he is not. God knows what else is waiting for me.

…

Esme comes in my room late that night. Her eyes are red and her face tear-soaked. I can't believe Master Carlisle is still punishing her. I hate myself for putting her in this condition. She smiles when she sees me staring at her. I can clearly read her eyes. Her emotion for me is same as mine for her. We both are punished tonight and we pity each other. She sits beside me and looks at me for a long time. I'm sure my face and hair still have oatmeal in them. She takes me in the bathroom and starts cleaning me. As much as I want get clean, I can't get her in trouble because of me anymore. I know she is not allowed to talk, but I can and I have to.

"No, Esme... Master Jasper told me he doesn't want my face cleaned." She doesn't agree. She shakes her head and starts cleaning again.

"Esme, I don't want to get in trouble again, please." She holds my face in her hands and nods her head. I don't fight with her because I know she will do it even if it gets her in trouble.

She gives me a full bath and even washes my dirty hair. Then she sits me in bed and starts putting salve on my bruises. My back must have looked worse because she starts crying while she is putting salve on it.

"No, Esme, don't cry. I am fine." She swallows hard to control her tears and brings her hands to hold her ears in a sorry gesture.

"No, Esme, nooooo... It's not your fault." How can she think like this? It's only my fault. Her eyes are still full of tears. I think to cheer her up.

"I am sure it looks very colorful. You know how much I like colorful things." This doesn't even bring small smile to her face. She stares at me with narrowed eyes. I know she can see right through me.

"Ok…It hurts like hell. But it's not because of you, Esme. It's my fault. I should have…" She doesn't even let me finish and puts finger on my mouth.

She gestures for me to lie on bed. When I did, she tucks me inside the blanket and puts her hands on my eyes. I try to sleep under her hands. She is so much like my mother. I never missed her before but I do now. My eyes fill with tears. She must have felt them. She takes her hands away from my eyes. Her eyes hold so much concern for me and a simple question: what's wrong? I doubt we need words now.

"I love you, Esme." Finally, I say something that makes her smile

She kisses my forehead and closes my eyes again. This time I finally find peace under her hands and fall into deep sleep.

... ...

**Review and do criticize it will help me improve. PM me your thoughts and idea's to put in story. Remember "I am not a writer."**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Thanks all, so very much, for reading and reviewing.**_****_**I read every single review. Thanks also to my beta reader she did a very hard work in very less time. please please please review that will get the story to HEA soon.**_

**…**

**Chapter 10**

My mind is still fuzzy with heavy sleep but I can feel her hands. She is still here running her hands soothingly through my hair. I never want to open my eyes. It feels heavenly here under her hands getting love and care. I can't believe she spent whole night here, just to care for me. I hope she won't get in trouble because of it but I wish I get this every day and night. When her finger touch my cheeks I lean closer to her hand, getting greedy for more care. I hold her hands in both of mine and kissed her finger.

"Thank you 'Esme," I mumbled without opening my eye.

My thanks brought a heavy chuckling but it's not Esme's. My eyes flew open and I saw Master Edward sitting on the bed with his hand in both of mine. I threw my hand away from his and scrambled back in bed. Is he mad at me? How did he come back so soon?

"I…I am ..." Half way into my apology I remembered Master Jasper's new order.

"This slave is sorry, Master." He looks at me with narrowed eyes and I know I did something wrong.

"Why are you talking like that?" His hard, angry voice brings truth to my lips instantly.

"Master Jasper told me to do it, Master."

"I'll deal with him. You are not allowed to talk like this." He said. I nodded in agreement; even I don't want to talk like that. His mood changed suddenly and he smiled.

"But for once I am happy with your sorry. I wish you would me sorry like this more often."

He said and kissed the same fingers I kissed before. Then he holds his hand open toward me in his usual welcome gesture.

"You can sit here comfortably. You know I am not Jasper." He said with a kind smile on his lips. I did sit properly and then it hit me - he is back, which means she is here.

"Oh my god. I…. Is she here? Did any one choose me?" The last part came out without even thinking. I bit my lip wishing I could take my words back.

He looked at me for a long time like he is trying to understand what I just said.

"No. I was on my way when I got Esme's call. She told me about Jasper beaten you so I decided to come back. Then I got two more messages from her on my way back. One about Carlisle's punishment and the other about…Jasper….you…." he shakes his head and looked in my eye

"I am sorry, Bella. What he did was inhuman…..I hope you forgive me one day."

"It's not your fault, Master. It's mine"

"No it's not. He just needed an excuse to lash out on you. But why didn't you call me?"

His question brought back the memory of him giving me the phone. Which is still in the closet, hidden in it's box.

"I forgot that I have cell phone" He put his head in hand and laughs at my excuse.

"How is your bruise? Esme told me you are in bad condition" His mood changed to sad again.

"She put salve on them last night. I think they are fine, Master." Esme did everything to make me comfortable. "She seems sad last night. Is she ok?"

"Yeah she was sad. She was crying when I came in the room last night. The hardest thing is to send her to her room."

"She was here, whole night?"

He just nodded his head. I hope she wasn't punished for staying late.

"Did she get in trouble for staying here master?"

"No. Carlisle knows she was here. She is upset and her trust is shaken a bit because of what jasper and Carlisle did to you" I don't know what to say. She is upset for me and I put her in trouble that got her punished. I should have done something for her.

"Bella….I…..can I check ….check on your bruises. Please." Master Edward's voice breaks my thoughts. I don't think saying no is an option, and more important is, I don't want to tell him no. I pulled my sleeves up to show him marks, but he turned and took me in his embrace.

Why he is hugging me? But I really don't want to know. It feels good when all tension left my body under him. I wish he'd let me spend my whole life here. His hand travelled down my back and my whole body came back to life like it's healed just with his touch.

But as he pulled my top up from my back, I tensed. Am I ready for this? Is he going to feel disgusted with my marked body? What will happen then? He will reject me.

I shivered at the thought

"Shhh…I won't do anything else. I promise, Bella. I want to cry at his soothing words. All I want him to do anything he wants; it would be much easier if he claim me. I don't have to worry about getting sold again.

Cold air hit my back when my top is pulled off. His hands left me for a second and then he placed a blanket between our chests. Why is he covering me? Am I that repulsive?

He kissed my hair before laying me on my stomach on the bed. Now my back is open for his eyes.

His loud gasp broke my heart. I hope he give me some time to convince him not to sell me. I hid my face in pillow and waited for his order to leave house.

"What the hell" His reaction brought me to begging. Even knowing he hates my begging I couldn't control my self.

"Pleaseee …Master, give me some time. …just one chance…. to please you Master. I ..I promise I won't disappoint you. Please don't sell me."

"What…..no one is _selling _you. I won't let it happen." He is silent for a long time. I don't know what he is thinking if he is not selling me. "Your back is a mess. I'll be back with salve and some pain killers."

He was back within moments and didn't say a word while putting salve on me. It seems like he is in deep thought, or maybe he is mad at me for ruining his property. I thought of asking him but soon his hand helping me in sitting up. A sharp pain hit my abdomen and I groaned loudly.

"What's wrong?" Master Edward asked.

It's James. He kicked me last night; it must be in bad condition.

"Bella" I moved the blanket aside to see.

"Oh my god. What happened? It's swelling." The horror in Master Edward voice is clear

It's really swelling I can't believe I didn't feel it before.

"It's ok. I'll be fine Master" I don't want to explain this but now I have to lie.

"It's not ok. I am a complete idiot I made you lie on your stomach. I am so sorry."

"I should have told you, Master" He handed me my top and told me to get dressed

"We are going to the hospital. I can't believe Carlisle didn't treat you properly."

"He didn't know master. It happened last night"

"Ok. I'll bring him here to see it."

He comes back with Master Carlisle and told me to show it to him

"How could you let this happen, Carlisle?" he asked as I pulled my top up.

"Did Jasper do this to you?" Master Carlisle asked me in soft voice and I shook my head, no. I wish they didn't ask me about this but the next word of Master Edward broke my wishes.

"James did this, didn't he?" Can I tell him the truth now? I want to but in front of Master Carlisle, I didn't think it's a good idea.

"No, Master" for ones my voice helped me in lying. Master Carlisle turned toward Master Edward.

"Do you seriously think I am capable of such act?"

"How did it happened?" Master Carlisle asked me through narrowed eyes.

"I fell in the bathroom" did they know I am lying? It's impossible to fall if you are crawling I decided now no matter what I will tell master Edward every thing but not now, not in front of Master Carlisle. Master Carlisle didn't ask any more questions. He checked me and told Master Edward nothing is broken, but some muscle pain will be there. When he left Master Edward sat beside me and holds my face in his hands

"Bella, I want you to start fighting for your self. I promise I won't let anything happen to you again but next time some one try to beat you. You will find help. Go to Esme or Carlisle they won't let Jasper beat you like this, they will help you but you have to help your self first."

I know he is right but can I fight? I don't think I am capable of it. Still I nodded towards the floor.

"I'll send Esme to help you in the bath. Don't worry and meet me at lunch. Ok?

"Yes, Master" I am happy he is sending Esme, I wanted to meet her and having a bath is now a privilege for me.

…

I can't believe I am hiding in a closet. _It won't help you stupid, go down and have lunch._ How long will it take me to understand a single word 'obedience'? _Ok ok don't think and do it, you did it last night you can do it again._ But Master Edward wasn't here last night. Eating from a dog's bowl without my hands was bad enough. Seen by Master Carlisle and Master Jasper was worse and I somehow survived Esme watching it too. But I don't want Master Edward to see me like that. Eating in front of him like that is impossible for me. I can't do it. _You will earn more punishment idiot go now it's already late. _Ok I am going, can't you just keep quiet.

I open the closet and started crawling toward the gate. It's already 11:15 I am late for lunch. _I can do this. I can do this_. My inner monologue broke when I heard the footsteps coming toward my room. I scramble back fast and hid in closet again. _What have you done? You should have gone at time_. Oh god, please help me.

I heard the door crack open and then footsteps coming inside the room.

"Bella," It's Master Edward. _Go out and beg forgiveness he won't hurt you._ I told my inner voice to keep its mouth shut. I held my breath hoping he will leave.

"Bella," his voice is coming closer he must have been checking in bathroom. _You should have gone earlier. _Oh shut up. I started panicking as his foot steps approach closet. My breathing becomes harsher. I put my hands on my mouth to keep silent. Please no just go I am not here. His footsteps stops just outside the closet. What is he thinking? Did he know I am inside? He sighs loudly and I heard his footsteps retreating. Oh thank god he is leaving.

"You can come out" his voice filled me with dread. He knows I am hiding inside.

"I won't leave till you come out. You can't hide your whole life in there." He is right I can't hide my whole life in here. I have to go and face him eventually. If I would have gone earlier I won't be in this position. _I told you so_. If there was anyway to kill my inner voice I would have done so in this moment.

I gather my courage, took a deep breath and open the closet door. He is sitting on the bed and looking at the floor with his head in hands. I crawled toward him and kneeled at his feet. He brought his head up and the look on his eyes broke my heart. He is disappointed. Tears rolled down on my cheeks. If I had gone earlier, none of this would have happened. He holds his hand out and made me sit beside him.

"Why are you crying?"

"I am so sorry, Master." He grimaced. He hates my begging and apologies.

"What exactly you are sorry for?"

"I disappointed you, Master." My tear filled voice sound as pathetic as I feel

"No I am disappointed with myself, Bella. I never thought I'd make you so scared that you have to hide in a closet"

"I didn't. I…..I am not. I didn't hide from you master"

"I called you twice, Bella. It still took you a whole minute to come out. What did I do to make you scared of me?"

"I am not scared of you. I am not, Master."

"Then tell me," He pulled my head up with both of his hands, "Tell me why you hid in the closet."

"I didn't hide from you; I hid because I am scared of going down and having lunch."

"You scared of having lunch?"

I nodded in agreement. I know how weird it sounds.

He put glass full of water to my lips and ordered "Drink this." I drained it slowly.

"We are going downstairs to have lunch." That brought my head back up. I don't want to, I just can't. My head is screaming to hide again. I pleaded him with my tear filled eyes

"No begging, no sorry and no crying. That's an order." I nodded knowing he didn't leave me any choice.

"Lie down." He move to door and pulled it wide open. When he comes back I am still sitting on the bed with a confused expression.

"Lie down, Bella." I don't know what is he doing but I did as I am told. He bends down and pulls me up in his arms. He kissed my forehead and took me outside. We reached down but my eyes still fixed on his face. He can't be human, he must be an angel. I heard various gasps but I am too busy watch him. When he took me to the dinning table I turned and saw everyone looking at us. Master Jasper and James are staring with angry eyes. Esme has big smile on her face and I couldn't put a name on Master Carlisle's expression. I turned again to see Master Edward and found him staring down at me with the same smiles. Esme's. He sits on the dining chair and pulled me on his lap. _He will be in trouble because of you, stupid girl_. But it feels really good to be like this.

"James. Serve us please."

Oh my god, he is going to make me eat too. But how?

"Edward. What are you doing? She is not suppose use her hands and feet," Master Jasper said in a hard voice. I looked down at my hand wishing he will listen to him and doesn't get in trouble

"She won't use her hands and feet." I gritted my teeth at his statement. I won't cry no matter what but last night was bad enough I don't want to eat like that again.

"Open." My eyes came up, and I saw a spoon full of soup in his hand. I looked at the spoon and then at him. What is he doing? He raised an eyebrow and I remember he ordered me to open my mouth. My lips parted it self in automatic motion and he feed me the soup by his hand. I can't believe all this is happening. He is feeding me by his hand. How can a single punishment become so different? I don't have courage to turn and face everyone. I looked down wishing he will feed himself, too.

"Carlisle, this is not the punishment," Master Jasper said again.

"The punishment is to improve her behavior towards her master. If she did please him, it's his decision how he wants to make this punishment for her." It's a relief that he is not mad at Master Edward. I already put Esme in trouble I don't want to put him too.

He brought another spoon to my lips but didn't order me this time. I opened my mouth knowing Master Carlisle won't be mad at him because of this. Whatever happened last night is forgotten after today's lunch. I would love to feed from that bowl if he made me eat from his hand the next day. I had the best lunch of my life.

Master Edward put me in bed after lunch and left Esme with me. We did lots of talking and had fun. I mean we communicated. We don't need word anymore. When Master Edward comes back he is grinning from ear to ear, like a cute child who got a magic wand. I don't know why he is happy but his wide grin brought a smile to Esme and my lips.

"I have something for you" my smile turned into a grin because he says the same thing every time we meet. I hold my hands out to share his happiness but that made him chuckle. He put his hand on mine and sat beside me.

"I have very good news," Then he turned toward Esme, "for you too, mom." I feel bad that I had forgotten Esme is still with us.

"What is it Edward?"

"You both are free from your punishment, Carlisle told me you are free to talk to her and she is free to use her hands and feet."

"What did you do?"

"Actually I didn't, he told me your punishments are not fitting for your crimes and he think he is being too harsh on you"

"Thank you so much, Edward." Esme said while hugging him. Then master turned and asked me, "Don't you want to know your good news?"

"ohh…. I thought this is…" I remember last time I disappointed him in same condition so I decided to ask him the way he wants "Will you please tell us my good news, Master." He smiled. He really smiled on my statement.

"She is coming tonight." _What._ My face must been showing my confusion, "The new girl, she will be here tonight." Oh my god. No. Not so soon.

"I should go and thank Carlisle first," Esme must have felt the change in the mood so she left

I looked down at my hand. Why is she here so soon? I love Esme I want to stay here.

"Bella, look at me." My head came up at his command and I looked in his concern filled eyes "What's wrong? You are not happy?" He asked in sad voice.

"I am happy for you, Master," but my voice doesn't sound convincing to my self.

"What are you thinking Bella?" I thought of telling him that I want to stay, to choose me instead of her but that's not what a slave's purpose is. A slave is supposed to make her master happy and all I can think of is myself. Master comes first, if he wants her that should make you happy too.

"She will make you happy and proud, Master."

"You think I won't choose you over her. Is that what it is about?" I don't want to think about it. I don't want to know how much time I have left in this house.

"She must be beautiful too. Have you seen her, Master?"

"I asked you a question." His voice held an authority that vibrates my sole.

"Why would anyone want choose me, Master? I am an old and used toy. She is…."

"You. Are. Not. A toy. Do you hear me?" He yelled loudly.

I shouldn't have said that. I made him angry now.

"I told you I don't want you talk about your self like that. Don't you dare cross me on this ever again" Tear rolled down on my cheeks. I bit my lip knowing there is nothing I can say to make it ok.

"And for your information, Carlisle told me to choose first and I already informed him of my choice." He did. I knew it. I know no one will choose me. Now I don't have any way to convince him. I know Master Jasper will reject me too. I hope they let me meet Esme before sending me anywhere.

His long finger pulled my chin up and I looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

"I chose you, Bella." My mind goes blank. I can't believe what he just said. I fell to the floor and touched his feet.

"Thank you, Master, thank you so much"

"Bella get up from floor, please." He pulled me up by my shoulder and sat me on the bed again. "Are these happy tears, or would you rather have Jasper over me?" He asked in very amused voice. I know he is teasing me now, but I know how much he sacrificed for it.

"Thank you so much, Master. I am grateful to you for doing me this favor."

"You think I did you a favor? You think I don't want you but chose you just to save you from Jasper, right?"

"You are very kind, Master." I tried to make him happy again but it didn't work.

"I am doing everything in my power to make you happy, just to get one smile from you."

"I am happy, Master." my reason doesn't affect him at all.

"Not the way I want you to be." He gets up from the bed and said, "You are happy because you know I choose you, not because you think I want you"

And he left the room.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and comments. I cherish each and every one of them.**__** They make me all gushy and happy.**_

_**Much, much more thanks to **__**shinrai **__**for the being my Beta and giving me super support (And spending time on my pathetic English).**_

**Please Review**

…**..**

Chapter 11

It's been hours since Master Edward left. I still can't understand his words, he wants me to want him and then he said he doesn't want me to want him that way. Is he mad at me for wanting him? But I didn't break any rule. I thought to go behind him but I don't have courage to face his anger. Why can't I make him happy? I was lost in my thought, when Esme came in my room.

"What happened between you two? Why is Edward upset?" She asked in her concerned voice as she comes inside.

"I don't know Esme, I am so confused. Why can't I understand anything he says?"

She sits on the bed beside me and asked, "What did he say to you?"

"He chose me, Esme. Over her. But when I thanked him for his favor, he got angry. I told him I am happy but he said he doesn't want me happy this way. I just don't understand."

She took my hand from my lap and said, "Bella, he wants you free. He doesn't want you to feel like you owe him, he didn't sacrifice anything. He wants you, that's why he chose you."

"But why would anyone want me, Esme? She is new, young and may even be a virgin. I am …..I am nothing."

"That's why he always says you don't see your self clearly, Bella."

Now I am confused, how is it possible that I don't see myself clearly? I know I am an old, useless slave. Is there any thing else to see?

"I don't understand, what is there to see?"

"You are a strong girl, Bella. You've been through hell all these years, but you still hold your self up. You just need to start fighting for your self."

"That's what he said." But am I really a strong girl? All I can picture is a wrestler girl with biceps and six pack abs.

"Yes because he knows you are capable of it; he knows you are strong."

"But he is mad at me, Esme."

"He is not mad, love. He is upset, and he is too new in this life to control his emotions. It's must be hard for him to know that you don't want him."

"I _want _him." She smiled on my emphasis on want.

"Not that way, love. You will understand it once you become independent." Independent? The word it self seems cruel. It's a curse for a slave, a punishment for whole life.

"How can I make him happy, Esme? I don't want to see him angry with me." I also don't want him to make me independent, but that is something I'll deal with later.

"Why don't you go and talk to him."

"I am scared, Esme. He is mad at me, how will I face him?"

"Bella, first thing, he is _not _mad at you. Second, if you go and talk to him, he will feel proud of you."

"Ok, but can I go later?"

"As you wish, love. And we will make something for him today, let's cook his favorite food"

"Wow. Esme that's really a good idea! What are we going to cook? What does he likes?"

"I have his grandma's recipe book. I'll show it to you, but first talk to him then come to kitchen, ok?"

"Ok, I will talk to him now." I resolved to do anything to make him happy again.

I thanked Esme and she left the room with a kiss on my forehead. Now all I have to think about is what I am going to tell Master Edward. I know I can't apologize, he hates that. I will go to his room, after knocking I will wait on my knees. No, no he is not going to like kneeling. But what about after that? Should I tell him I am confused or that I don't understand him? There is no sense in thinking. I will think a lot, get nervous then I will chicken out. I am going-NOW. I took a deep breath and left the room.

His door is open. I peeked inside and saw him working on his computer. I will come later.

_Chicken_. My inner voice decided to appear. Even after so many years, it's still same irritating voice inside my head who can't keep quit.

I am not chicken. He is busy can't you see?

_Knock on the door._

OK, whatever.

I knocked on his door with my finger tip.

"Humm….." He didn't look up from his computer, but I am shocked he heard the knock.

_Say something_

Yeah. Please shut up.

Do it Bella. Don't think, just do it, "C…Can I come inside, Master?" His head turned from his computer toward me, his face is full of shock. He just looked at me like he can't believe I was standing at his door.

_You should have kneeled_.

For the first time I wish she would have appeared earlier. As I bend my knees to kneel, he said "Come in."

The easy part is to move and stand in front of him, but the harder part is to say now.

"Sit, Bella." He said pointing to a chair beside him.

I sit and stared at my hands in my lap. The silence is getting awkward, but I can't find my courage to say anything. I know he is waiting for me to say something.

"How are you doing, Bella?"

"I am fine,m..Master." He is making small talk, stupid, say something now.

"So what brought you here?"

"I..I came to.." No, no not apologize. "I ..I..just ..I"

"Do you think that I am mad at you?" He is trying to make things easier for me, but still I couldn't find my voice. I just nodded my head.

His long finger pulled my chin up and looked directly in my eyes "No. I am not. It just…. hurts knowing you don't want me." I can hear the pain behind his words.

"But master, I want you _really_. I am not lying."

"I know you are not lying, but I know you don't want me, at least not the way I want you to." I have to ask him now or I'll be confused again.

"I don't understand, Master."

"hmmm.. Lets put it this way, you want to serve me, to please me, complete my every demand or wish or need. You think I am your master so it's your duty, right?"

"Yes, Master. I will do whatever you say, I won't disappoint you just give me a chance to please you, Master."

"But that's not what I want; I just want you to want me without any of it."

"Oh" But what will I do? It's my life's purpose to serve my master.

"Still confused? Forget about it. I know it's new to you. You will understand when the time comes. I will try to keep that in my mind next time, I promise."

"Ok, Master."

"So, want to go out with me?" My face must have shown my confusion because he added, "You remember I promised you dinner last time." Oh, I remember. Esme cooked mushroom ravioli for me and I didn't go to dinner with him. He is going to be mad at me now; I am ruining his plan again.

"Don't tell me Esme is making something special for you again; I am going to be really jealous if that's the case."

"She has planed to make something special for you, Master."

"For me? Really? Wow. But why? It's not my birthday."

"Actually she is helping me to make you happy."

"You make me very happy today by coming here." He gets up from his chair, holds my face in his hand and makes me look at him. "I am proud of you." Then he kissed my forehead.

Tears flow down my cheeks at his words. Finally I did something he appreciates. I can be a good slave. I can make him happy.

He pulled my face up again and asked.

"Why the tears now?"

"I am happy to make you proud, Master." He smiled and his lips brushed away tears from my cheeks. "I am happy, too." His voice is soft as his lips whispered on my cheeks. Then his lips touched mine, and I forget everything. A kiss so soft, I melted under his hands. He claimed my lower lip in long sucking motion. But too soon he broke the kiss, stands and looks at my hands. My eyes traveled down and saw my hands holding the button of his jeans. Oh my god, how did that happen, I pulled my hands back and looked at the floor. I bit my lip to keep my tears at bay. What he must be thinking. What kind of whore am I? He close the button again then took a hold of my hand and made me stand in front of him, "Let's go for a walk, then I will drop you off at the kitchen."

... ...

I always like cooking, but with Esme, it's a wonderful experience. She sings while cooking, and her voice fills the kitchen. You can almost feel the texture of her voice, its smoothness and softness. It's just like her cooking -rich and classy. She told me it's her hobby to try new dishes. She taught me how to cook his favorite fried chicken and waffles. We were almost done when Esme left me in the kitchen saying she needs to go to the market to get groceries and told me she will be back before dinner time. It's nice to have someone to talk to. She told me about her old slave life, and how Carlisle rescued her from her old abusive master. She said that with Carlisle's help she became herself again. I didn't understand the last part, but I didn't tell her that.

I was going to my room after finishing cooking when I saw James standing in my way. I took a step back. I didn't forget last night, or how he kicked me. _'Fight for yourself, Bella.' _Master Edward's voice whispered in my mind. Esme said the same, but can I really fight? James face lit up when he saw me struggling, but his cruel smile made me angry. I took a deep breath and started walking. I will fight. I won't let Esme and Master Edward down. In theory, it's easy to fight, but in reality it's really hard to walk on my trembling legs. His smile turned into a wide grin when I reached him. As I crossed him, he pulled me back by my hair.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Let me go, or you will regret it." My words are threatening, but my voice sounding like I was pleading.

"Who are you? Where is my scared little kitten?"

"I am not scared of you. I will tell Master Edward everything, and he won't believe you no matter what story you make. I belong to him now, and Master Jasper has no power over me." My little speech didn't work.

"Seriously, you are cute when you get angry." Why doesn't anything I say affect him? He should feel scared. I want to see him trembling and begging to me.

"You will be in trouble when I tell everything."

"You won't, love. I don't think you want Esme to be punished because of you again."

"What?" In my scared voice he smelled his victory. He freed my hair and circle around me.

"You know the pasta incident. It's a bad thing to encourage her to lie. Carlisle will go mad when he findout." He knows that he had me there. I don't want to see Esme getting punished.

"What do you want?" He smiled as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Oh, love," he comes behind me and wraps his one hand on my belly and the other on my shoulders. "How many times have I told you? Just fun."

"Someone will see us. Please don't do this."

"You will be in trouble if someone did." His lips traveled up my neckline and stopped at my jaw, then he whispered in my ear, "You are seducing me, what can I do? I am a poor victim."

"Please not here." I started shaking violently. His hands are only thing keeping me up.

"I don't care about your punishment." He hands covered my breasts and started squishing them.

"Please take me inside, anywhere, not here, please."

"Hmmm...ok. Move," he said and kissed my jaw before releasing me from his hug.

He holds my hair and pulls me toward the dungeon.

"No. No, please, not dungeon."

"Here or dungeon. Choose fast. I don't have time."

"Please…"

He didn't let me choose and took me to the dungeon.

It's not dark and cold, but still it's full of scary looking things. There are tables, medical instruments, a saw horse, a cross, chains attached to wall and ceiling, clumps, canes, cages, whips, paddles and things I don't even know the name of. I can't do this. Until this time all I can think about is keeping this from my masters, but now I feel that what he is going to do to me is a bigger problem. What is more dangerous, my masters finding out about this, or James having his way with me? _Fight, Bella._

"No. I don't want this. Let me go."

"We are back to that again."

"Please, let me go."

"Ok. I hate to see Esme in here again, but it's your choice." He knows the Esme card will always work for him. But can I survive this?

I heard about whips and chains, they call it BDSM – safe, sane and consensual, but I don't believe that. Bound a slave, and then have your way with her. Even in punishment we are free to take blows wherever we can handle. We process our pain trough our screams, but if you are gagged and bound, how you will survive? This is insanity; there is nothing safe, sane and consensual about it. It's worse than slavery.

But I have to do this for Esme.

"What are you going to do?"

"It's for me to decide and you to endure." He removed his shirt and moved towards the door.

"After I close this door, there will be no more choice, last chance to decide your fate or …..Esme's." I know he is playing with my emotions, he is enjoying my struggle. Even if I choose to go, he won't let me leave.

"Please, have sex with me all you want, but please don't do this" I said as he put the latch and came to stand in front of me.

"No love I don't want _sex._ I have Victoria for that. I want to have fun" He touched my breast and when I cringed away from his touch, he threw me towards the floor.

"Strip and kneel there." Do it, Bella. Don't think.

_You are supposed to fight. _

Fight doesn't do any good.

"If you make me wait, you are going to pay for it."

I took off my tank top and skirt down.

"Off with it," he said when I didn't take off my bra and panties. I took a deep breath and thought _For Esme_, then stripped naked and kneeled down.

My attempt to hide behind my hair and keep my knees together doesn't work. He pulled my head up by my hair "Didn't Master Jasper taught you to keep you knees apart?" Don't think; do as he says, _for Esme._ When I pulled my knees apart, he puts his hand on my mound.

"Please don't do this," I didn't forget the last time he pinched me there.

"Keep your hands of me, you won't touch me without permission," he said and slapped me. I held my hand to my burning cheek.

"Why are you dry? You should be wet for your master at all the times." I gritted my teeth to stop my vicious words.

"Get up and present your self, you whore." Standing on my trembling legs, I took the position and waited for his assault.

He has to stop soon, Bella. He can't keep you here for long. Just endure; it will be over soon. That's all I can assure myself._ For Esme._

"If you lose this position, I will bind you to that table, and I will do things you never imagined in your life." My shoulders started shaking with the intensity of my cry. He seems happy with my tears. He circled around me and whispered softly in my ear, "Don't worry love, I won't kill you." I wish he'd kill me, I know he won't-at least not before he is done with me, but still it's better than all this. Better than my life. What is there to live for? A master who sells me with a blink of an eye or two masters who won't claim me. There is no one in this world who wants me. Maybe Esme, but she has a master, she can't understand how it feels to be a slave without a master.

James' voice brought me back to reality.

"Since you threatened me twice, I think its better we deal with your punishment first." He moved towards wall and picked a thick bamboo cane. "I think this is your favorite."

"Please….no…" My sobbing is getting uncontrolled.

"You don't have permission to speak, love…but you can scream all you want" he said and strikes on my breast. My breath left me at once, my mouth open, but nothing comes out. The pain is so intense that it took me whole minute to breath again. He seems disappointed with himself. He brought cane down again harder than the last time; my shoulder bends in an automatic reaction to avoid the blows. But nothing works. He hit harder, and I concentrate on my breathing. _Breathe through the pain,_ that what they taught in training. Easier said than done. This time he hit right on my nipple; the blow was so strong, I can feel it right to my bone. I know what he is trying. He wants to make me scream, but I won't let him have that. I will fight. I gritted my teeth and fisted my hands. He gets angry seeing no response from me and starts hitting me without a pause. My throat becomes tight. It's getting harder to breathe through the pain. The next hit cuts my skin and the pain becomes unbearable. A shriek passed through my mouth. Next two blows and I screamed. My legs gave out and fell to floor, holding my abused breast.

"hmmmm… I liked that sound. Let's hear how you sound when your pussy gets whipped"

"No,no,no …." I get up from the floor and run towards the door, I couldn't think, these is no rational thought left in my mind, the only thing I can think of is to run away. But James pulls me back by my hair.

"Not so soon, love."

I struggled hard to get free, but his grip is too tight. He pinched my bruised nipples and I screamed again. My hand swings and strikes his cheek in a hard slap. He was as shocked as I was.

"I…I am sorry." I couldn't believe I hit him. I look at my palm which slapped him. This fighting thing has to stop or it will get me in deep shit. His hand left my hair to hold his jaw. His face is livid with anger. Before he recovers from his shock I pulled my cloths on and run to my room.

...

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